Val's 2023

dksw0rld:

angellle-deactivated20230430:

You Need To Get It Together: A Playbook On Everything Girls Need To Understand

First things first, beauty.

I don’t care what people say, beauty DOES take you far. Your appearance is the FIRST impression you’re going to make, take pride in it. But of course, don’t try to match someone else’s beauty- play to yours. Looking well-put-together is a door opener, trust me.

• make sure your hair is healthy! all hair types are beautiful when healthy, moisturized, and taken care of! keep up with your trims, explore complimenting cuts/layers for your face, etc. find THAT hairstyle(s) for you.
• SKIN- tretinoin is your best friend. of course discuss with your dermatologist but it’s heaven sent and you will literally have the poreless, line-free, glass like skin. find a great skincare regimen that isn’t irritating or drying. i strongly encourage Korean Skincare! (link here)
• MAKEUP- in MY opinion and experience/witnessing of others, natural glams are the best for many reasons. It’s timeless, you make it complimentary to YOUR features, it never looks like too much or too little, it’s quick (lol) and it just look a lot more out together than other styles. this doesn’t mean you can’t explore BUT i’d advise people to work with their features and what enhances their beauty. for example those huge 25mm, strong and hard no. there are some people than can pull them off but it’s very easy for these lashes to over power your face and just look odd, almost tacky even. a great lash for volume, glam, and even a little boldness without being WOAH, would be KissLashes Jubilee, you can stack these for a deeper effect (make sure you trim your lash bands to your eye-length lol) also another great brand is Doseoflashes and the “Baddie” lash they offer- gives that lash extension effect if you don’t want the commitment. short wispy volume is probably the best way to go. you also want your base to be a natural skin like finish. not too matte, not too dewy. makeup examples below

• BODYCARE- keep up with waxes/lasering/shaving. use a glycolic body wash on top of your usual shower gels/bar soaps. this will gently exfoliate your skin and keep and discoloration/texture almost nonexistent. body scrubs are great, and i advise a thick body cream! feminine(down there) hygiene should NOT be this elaborate. remember- cleansing soap FIRST, then a nice scented bodywash.
• HAVE A SIGNATURE SCENT! i cannot stress this enough. the trick to making sure you smell good ALL day is layering. complimenting bodycream/perfume. even a little perfume oil. make sure you’re hitting the key body points for your perfumes. make sure it’s nothing that smells childish or teen like. find you a beautiful, captivating scent.
• EVERYTHING ELSE

1. keep your nails done! short nails are a bit more practical and are something i like to think is again, more complimentary. they don’t have to extremely short unless you want them too but definitely nothing over a shmedium length.
2. same goes for toes ^ keep those things DONE. and keep your feet moisturized. you should NOT have crusty dusty heels.

• CLOTHING SHOULD FIT YOU WELL. i cannot stress the importance of dressing for your body type. if you don’t take anything away from this guide, take that. ill fitting clothing is such a turn off to like everyone lol. take advantage of a tailor!

1. avoid that cheap clubby type of clothing. nothings wrong with a little risqué outfit, BUT make sure your clothes are quality and don’t look like some fashion nova party city situation.
2. speaking of risqué, please know how to do it RIGHT so you don’t look raunchy or tacky. have a balance. i love a mini skirt, a crop top, a mini dress, etc but your clothing choices should not be down right nasty lol. (example the HOISERY as pants, don’t get me started)

YOUR LIFE

this will be broken up into categories.

1. Finances:

GET THIS IN ORDER. As a woman, you should want to have your own money.

• Make use of professionals in the financial world – CPAs, your brokerage firms etc.
• Learn how to invest. Especially with a Roth IRA/backdoor Roth. Educate yourself on personal finance.
• Understand your 401k & employer.
• HAVE AN EMERGENCY FUND. This is so important.
• spend on things that are useful/pleasurable for you. make sure important things are taken care of first. understand your income/out ratio and know where your money is going and where you can make cuts if needed.

Mental Health/Wellness/Self.

Understand that NO ONE is coming to save you. You need to help YOURSELF and honor YOURSELF.

• the most serious thing first- if you’re struggling with trauma, depression, etc seek a great therapist. there’s nothing wrong with therapy and it’s completely confidential. you don’t even need to tell people that you’re in therapy.
• Keep your space clean and organized. this does wonders for the brain. look into the magic of feng shui.
• take time for yourself. spoil yourself.
• make sure you’re moving daily! take walks (safely) hit your local gym, take a pilates class, yoga, cycling- anything. you have one life and one body, make sure it’s healthy.
• fuel your body. you don’t have to be an utterly insane health freak BUT you can be mindful of what you’re consuming/how often. a balanced diet is key to feeling great mentally AND physically, plus the obvious health benefits. do research on what’s best for your body and individual needs food wise. last thing- EAT, HYDRATE AND BE HEALTHY. you don’t need to restrict your body of food (unless for certain health problems stated by your doctors, then of course keep those certain foods out of your diet) stay away from fad diets as they can lead to EDs.
• be careful with alcohol. who doesn’t love a fun drink? just make sure you realize you don’t absolutely have to drink to have a good time, but if you do want to, make sure it’s not something you’re depending on.
• 8 hours of sleep. your body NEEDS to rest and recoup. make sure your bedroom is a sleep sanctuary almost. set the mood, develop a routine, drink tea, get cozy with a book or journal and wind down. ensuring you’re having proper rest can again, make you feel good mentally AND physically.
• Have enough discipline to do what you need to do even when motivation is lacking. point blank.
• if something is not serving you, stressing you out and you can control it? do something about it. stop complaining and not being solution based. you are NOT obligated to put up with/do anything you don’t want to or anything that doesn’t make you feel good. it’s THAT simple.

Being a Powerhouse of a Woman

• like i said you are NOT obligated to do anything or deal with anything you don’t like. so take NO sh*t.
• being a powerhouse of a woman means keeping your values, expectations, and aspirations FIRM and unwavering. you want what you want, you expect what you expect- and you will get it. anything that does not line up to that should be cut and never be revisited.
• stand up for yourself. letting people walk all over you, take advantage of you, disrespect you, etc does what exactly? nothing good for you so learn how to set those boundaries and check/drop people. understand that projection is not about you, it’s the them.
• STOP CARING. caring about what people think of you does absolutely nothing for you, but keep you safe and small. Peoples thoughts, opinions, and projections do not directly affect your life anyway so caring about them search absolutely no purpose. People are not taking money from you, stop in your blessings, etc. So again, why care? Be sure of yourself and everyone else are nonfactors.
• surround yourself with likeminded people with similar lifestyles or even inspiring lifestyles. this eliminates judgement, jealousy projected on to you. it really is LEVELS to this life thing so yes, keep people that are on your level.
• take pride in your career and run sh*t. be absolutely ruthless when it comes to your success (this does not mean be rude to people) it means to just be strong in your work ethic. go after you what you want.

relationships-

• you’re the catch. if a man isn’t acting right, DROP HIM. hold your expectations and only entertain those of great personalities, great careers, good finances, ambition etc. quality men are all you should ever entertain. do not tolerate disrespect, gaslighting and empty words. do NOT beg a man to act right. simply be the one that got away. hold your own. the only men i will ever be with are men that treat me like the best & only thing in this world. an unwavering, passionate and a powerhouse man.
• just because you had bad experiences in the past, does not mean that everyone else in the world is like that. Take your lessons from those past experiences and apply that in your new experiences, and ensure you don’t encounter the same thing twice. To go through this life, thinking that love is hopeless, and that nothings ever going to work out for you because of a handful of bad situations is quite sad and an immature way to go about life. Things work out or somethings don’t, it’s life. move on and collect yourself. You’re not missing out on anything that is not for you.
• do not be controlled. do not let a relationship suppress your personality. a good man would actually encourage you to live fully and expand.

1. OTHER RELATIONSHIPS- friends.

• prioritize girls nights, lunches, events. connect. lean on them like they can lean on you. this is your extended family. there is literally nothing better than a sisterhood. make sure these relationships are genuine, loyal, and fulfilling.

Last Things:

• carry yourself with class. never be raunchy.
• always be prepared for everything. have your purse, having essentials, never underestimate.

Everything you said here is A1, love it

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Getting your BASE in order: 5 Main Areas

I often see a lot of focus on makeup, clothes, hair extensions, fake nails in level up spaces. I am not against, nor am I a stranger to any of those things. I am here to argue and explain that before you focus on any of those things, you should focus on getting your BASE in order.

What is you base? Your base is the physical aspects of yourself that will improve any enhancements you add on top. Think of it as perfecting the recipe to a cake, before focusing on the frosting and decorations. You don’t want to slather a cake that doesn’t taste good in icing and adornments and call it a day. There are 5 major areas that I think will vastly improve your looks before any cosmetic enhancements or add-ons.

1. Body. This is controversial for some who subscribe to extreme body positivity/acceptance, but I believe that everyone has a weight that is healthy for them that has them looking and feeling your best. You want to aim for a height-weight proportionate body. And no, I don’t recommend following the guidance of BMI in this area. Although it can be a good guideline, it ultimately doesn’t account for different body types. What is right for your height and body will differ from other people. In general, if you’re eating mostly whole foods, drinking enough water, and challenging yourself physically on a regularly basis, you should eventually settle into a height-weight proportionate body shape. Ideally you will take your time doing this, experimenting with what food works best for your diet and goals and what exercise you enjoy and can stick to. I’m not a dietician or weight loss expert, so I recommend doing research in this area to get down to a healthy weight and achieve your specific goals. No one is saying you have to look like a VS model, but be honest with yourself if you could be doing better in this area and if you’re comfortable with how you look and feel. Getting down to your ideal weight will help you feel your best and will help your clothes look and fit better.

2. Skin. A healthy, even, glowy complexion goes a long way in improving your overall appearance. Focus on identifying your skin issues on your face and body and formulating a routine to remedy those issues. Depending on the severity, you may need to consult an esthetician or dermatologist. If you have dark skin, I recommend going to a specialist that works with dark skin because there are actual medical differences in dark skin versus lighter complexions. Make sure you’re being consistent with whatever routine you develop, or else it won’t work. Don’t overdo it with a lot of products at once. Keep it simple and do it consistently. Consider going in for facial on a regularly basis, or learning how to do simple facials at home. And don’t neglect your body! Exfoliate and moisturize your body. One thing in considering in my own body routine is self tanning. I’ve seen black women discuss how it gives them an even, glowy complexion. It might be something to try for the summer time.

3. Teeth. This is something that is specific to each individual. If you’re blessed to have straight teeth, then congratulations. Focus on keeping them white with white strips and/or professional whitening treatments. If your teeth leave something to be desired in terms of being straight, consult with your dentist on the best route of action to fix them. It may be expensive, but it will be a great investment in your smile. I am personally considering getting Invisalign this year to fix my gap and straighten my teeth. Veneers are also an option, but I would do your research on the pros and cons because they can damage your real teeth in the long run.

4. Hair. Before any styling or extensions, make sure you are caring for the health of your hair. Deep condition regularly, get trims on a schedule, and address any scalp issues such as dandruff. Whatever your hair texture, value the health of it over the length. You can always add length with extensions, but it’s hard to hide neglected hair or balding edges. Be gentle with your hair, including the tools you use, the amount of heat you apply, and the way you style it. Once your hair is in a good place health wise, feel free to experiment with different styles to find one that suits your face. It might be worth the money to consult a stylist on what cut, color, and style is best for your face shape and skin tone. Wigs are a great way to both protect your hair and experiment with different styles without the commitment.

5. Nails. I love a good set as much as the next girl, but i want to make sure that my nails underneath my press ons are strong and healthy. Take vitamins to strengthen your hair and nails if you feel it is necessary, apply cuticle oil, and use nail strengthening polish. Occasionally, give your nails a break from any extensions, and make sure you’re removing extensions in a safe manner as to not thin out your nails. Treat yourself regularly to manicures and pedicures to keep your natural nails looking their best. Also, make sure to pick a color that goes with most of your outfits and compliments your skin tone.

And there it is! I guarantee that if you work on these 5 areas, your glow up will be immaculate. You’ll look a lot more natural and put together. Work on taking care of what God gave you, and THEN add all the bells and whistles.

theessenceaesthetic:

A Guide To Effortless Beauty

Makeup

It’s been said that the “full beat” makeup trend of the late 2010s is no longer in style, and I agree. The makeup cycle has gone from #fullglam to #cleangirl in 5 years. Today we are talking about my favorite happy medium #soft glam.

Soft·Glam
/so͞ft'glam/

“effortless, diffused, and almost ethereal—basically, a more polished but natural you.”

Ladies, if you want to stand out among the crowd or even just feel like the best version of yourself, a soft beat is a way to go!

Rules of Thumb

• Keep your brows shaped and filled in.
• Practice makeup application daily until you find your happy medium with products. (I personally utilize concealer and setting powder for a no-makeup makeup-baked look)
• Wear moderate lashes ( Soft glam usually looks best with lash extensions or moderately length mink lashes)
• Utilize a brown lip line with your shade of nude lipstick and gloss to give that extra pop of effortless glam.
• Eyeliner, eyeshadow, and blush are optional.

Skin Care

Skincare is the foundation of all things beauty. A daily skincare routine is essential to minimize and maintain blemishes. Soft glam is about a fresh face with a pop of “I KNOW YOU SEE ME”!

Rules of Thumb

• I recommend committing to a twice-daily skincare routine both morning and evening.
• Make sure to wake up early enough to wash your face and apply all the necessary products before beginning makeup application.
• Plan weekly deep cleanse for the face ( I like to plan my mask for the evening so they can be set without rushing).
• I suggest buying skin care products as needed and try not to overstimulate your face.

Hair

Hair can make or break a look. Imagine looking your best, but your hair is all over the place. It’s an oxymoron. You should never shorthand your feminine routine by neglecting your hair. Whether you are a beginner or advanced, styling and maintaining your hair is always necessary when executing a soft glam look.

Rules of Thumb

• Practice makes perfect; carve out time in your schedule to master simple styles such as curls and crimps.
• Make sure your lace is always melted!
• Natural hair beauties treat your hair with conditions and detangling as often as your hair type requires.
• Create a mood board and set a goal to master each hairstyle.
• Deep condition and silicone treat wigs in between each install.
• Natural hair beauties master twist outs, edges and ponytails for a polished on-the-go look at all times.

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Special thanks to @graceandopulence for the skin care collage.

blissfullyecho:

March 2023 “That Girl” Challenge

Helloooo :)

This is the 31-Day Challenge that I’ve created for us to do together this month. It’s just something simple and fun. Enjoy! - BlissfullyEcho

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DAY 1: Deep clean your living space (bedroom, apartment, house, condo, camper, etc)

DAY 2: Deep clean your car (if you don’t have a car, deep clean something else that you haven’t done but should do: junk drawer, dresser, yoga mat, makeup brushes, etc)

DAY 3: Try a new (healthy!) recipe– this could even be a healthy dessert or beverage

DAY 4: Try a guided meditation on YouTube for 10 minutes after waking up and before checking social media

DAY 5: Spend an extra 15 minutes working on something for school, work, hobbies, or your own personal development

DAY 6: Unfollow, delete, and block social media accounts and phone contacts that are just not part of your life anymore (or those who you plan on not having as a part of your life anymore)

DAY 7: Delete social media pictures that don’t fit in with the best version of you. This could be the overedited photos, the thirst trap you put on there because that one person made you upset, etc.

DAY 8: Try a new workout that you haven’t done. Pilates, ballet, barre, tennis, CrossFit, kickboxing, F45, cycling, running, swimming, etc.

DAY 9: Pamper your pet. Brush, clean, trim their nails, give them treats, etc. Go above and beyond for them today. (If you don’t have animals, pamper yourself today!)

DAY 10: Enjoy the sunshine. Go outside (wear your sunscreen, sunglasses, and a hat) for 15-20 minutes and enjoy your own company and nature.

DAY 11: No phone 30 minutes before bed. Set your bedtime tonight, and set an alarm 30 minutes prior to that. Once your alarm goes off, put your phone on DND and read a book before bed. Read until you are tired enough to turn off your lights and sleep.

DAY 12: Watch a documentary about something and learn! Maybe it’s something you’ve never had an interest in. Just please make it positive! No heartbreaking or tragic documentaries. Let’s not invite that into our “That Girl” challenge.

DAY 13: Buy a self-care item. This could be a yoga mat, face mask, cleansing oil, the Bible, perfume, etc. It can be as expensive or inexpensive as you’d like.

DAY 14: Go out on a date with yourself. Take yourself out to do something you’ve never done/been to before.

DAY 15: Aim to drink at least 60oz. of pure water today.

DAY 16: Spend 30 minutes learning a language you’ve always wanted to learn (and if you love it, practice for 10 minutes a day afterward)

DAY 17: Turn your notifications off.

DAY 18: No social media today.

DAY 19: Do something creative today. Buy a canvas, paint, and a brush, and follow a Bob Ross tutorial; maybe buy a jewelry-making kit. Take today and be creative for at least 30 minutes.

DAY 20: 10,000 steps OR walk for an hour

DAY 21: Go through your finances and see where you can budget. Take this time to audit your subscriptions and see if you would like to cancel any recurring subscriptions to save you extra money each month.

DAY 22: Avoid eating animal products today. Just focus on whole grains, fruit, veggies, nuts, seeds, water, and vitamins.

DAY 23: Schedule any doctor appointments you might have. If you don’t have to, then take today to create a to-do list for the next 3 days.

DAY 24: Spend some time deleting pictures and making storage space in your phone. Any way you can– it doesn’t have to be from deleting your photos.

DAY 25: Listen to a new podcast or TedTalk.

DAY 26: Check your credit report/score and see if there’s anything you need to do/complete.

DAY 27: Clear your email inbox and unsubscribe from the companies you don’t shop from anymore.

DAY 28: Touch up on your resume.

DAY 29: Sort through your closet and throw away, donate, and sell your clothes and shoes that you don’t wear (and that you know you’ll never wear again)

DAY 30: Sort through your bathroom drawers and cabinets and organize them.

DAY 31: Create a vision board for April.

femmefatalevibe:

Discovering, refining, and feeling comfortable with your authentic self is essential for claiming your power and deciding how you want to show up in the world. Here’s a beginner’s guide to discovering your personality and cultivating your personal brand.

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